Wedding Traditions
Ideas For Your “Something Blue”
Trying to figure out what to use for your “something blue”? Check out this list of ideas from the newest issue of Brides magazine:
- Shoes: Put your best foot forward.
- Ring: A sapphire sparkler, like the one worn by Kate Middleton, is instantly regal.
- Dress: Surprise your guests with a sky-hued gown. Too much? Wear a blue lining.
- Brooch: Pin an heirloom tanzanite to your sash.
- Bouquet: Tuck hydrangeas, cornflowers, or even peacock feathers into your posies.
- Temporary Tattoo: A tiny indigo heart on the inside of your wrist puts the fun in romance.
- Lingerie: Only you and your hubby will know if your azure undies are naughty or nice.
- Garter: Keep it tasteful, not tacky, with delicate teal lace.
- Fascinator: Charm well-wishers with a pastel blue headpiece.
- Ribbon: Wrap flower stems in rich cerulean velvet.
- Capelet: Heat up a chilly winter’s day with a sea-inspired mohair shrug.
- Handkerchief: Use midnight colored thread to embroider your new initials in one corner.
- Tights: Why not rock a pair of aqua fishnets under that gown?
- Nail Polish: Paint your digits a light turquoise that won’t upstage your bling.
- Mascara: Enhance your eyes with a comely cobalt shade (just make sure it’s waterproof!)
Wondering where the idea of “something blue” came from? We’ve got the answer in our Wedding Traditions section!
History of the Wedding Cake
At Engaged Wedding Library, we have literally thousands of cake photos to look at in many different wedding cake magazines and books; and the most recent issue of Modern Wedding Cakes has a very thorough history of the Wedding Cake in addition to the many, many beautiful cake photos. The one shown here caught our eye in this issue that was full of very complex, dramatic cakes; yet this one stood out as an example of how a simple, all white cake with some nice details can still be a winner. It’s different height tiers is also very popular now. Of course every bride has a different dream of how her wedding cake should look, but everyone will find inspiration in all the creative cake designs on the shelves at Engaged. And if you’re looking for a bakery to make you a most delicious cake, be sure to visit Cake & Candy Specialties in Citrus Heights!
The History of the Wedding Cake
from Modern Wedding Cakes magazine
The traditional wedding cake as we know it has been around for hundreds and hundreds of years. Although many variations on the theme have sprung up since it first became popular; the tiered, white-iced, fruit and rum flavored classic has stood the taste test of time. But how did it all start?
Use Your Loaf!
In Antiquity, the very first cakes appeared. They were nothing but thin loaves made of wheat or barley – more like bread. The ancient Greeks, Romans and Egyptians would bake a bread cake in the shape of a bird or grain, and break it over the bride’s head as a symbol of her fertility, fruitfulness and good fortune. Guests then scrambled for the pieces of cake hoping to secure good luck for themselves.
Oh Sugar!
In Anglo Saxon times, sugar made its appearance in the original wedding loaf, turning it into more of a sweetened bun. It became the tradition for guests to bring these little cakes to the wedding and pile them up one on top of the other as high as they could. The bride and groom would attempt to kiss one another over the tower without knocking it down. If they were successful, it meant a lifetime of prosperity.
Something’s Up
From there, the birth of the tiered wedding cake as we know it is somehow uncertain. The story goes that in the 1660s, during the reign of King Charles II, a French chef was visiting London and observed the cake piling ceremony. Appalled at the haphazard manner in which the British stacked baked goods, often to have them tumble, he conceived the idea of transforming the mountain of bland biscuits into an iced, multi-tiered cake sensation. British papers of the day are supposed to have deplored the French excess, but before the close of the century, British bakers were offering the very same magnificent creations.
The Icing on the Cake
On we go through the Renaissance, as edible centerpieces (known as sublities) became popular. These centerpieces grew to enormous heights amid the general extravagance of the age. It became customary to build the wedding cake as a palace, iced with white sugar to symbolize purity, replete with figures of the new “Lord and Lady of the Manor”, miniature gardens, and horses.
Whiter Than White
Purity was not the only reason white icing was all the rage; it was also a sure way to tell everybody you had more than a few pennies. White icing had to be made using only the most refined sugar – a very expensive ingredient at the time; so the whiter the cake, the wealthier the bride’s family had to be.
Sweet Dreams
As the modern age dawned with the 1700s, it became tradition to box up small pieces of cake for the maids and bachelors to take home and put under their own pillows. Before going to sleep, a prayer was said, which, with the aid of God, the saints, angels or Venus, would allow the sleeping person to dream of their future marriage partner. Being by then a “civilized” Christian culture, no one openly called it a spell, but now we can safely say that’s exactly what it was!
Wedding Cake Prayer
But Madam, as a present take
This little paper of bride-cake;
Fast any Friday in the year,
When Venus mounts the starry sphere,
Thrust this at night in pillowbeer;
in morning slumber you will seem
T’ enjoy your lover in a dream.
Types of Veils
If you’d like to be able to refer to types of veils by their official names, here are the different styles, and even a suggestion of what types of gowns they look best with, as seen in Brides magazine.
1. BLUSHER
This below-chin-length look, often attached to a longer veil, is worn over the face during the processional. Traditionally, dad flips it back once you reach the groom. Wear it with: a sheath, slipdress, or supersize ballgown.
2. CATHEDRAL
You’ll need an ultraformal setting (big church, grand ballroom) to pull off this regal style, which cascades at least 10 feet from the headpiece. Wear it with: a major ballgown or princess frock.
3. BIRDCAGE
If you want to go retro, choose this fishnet look that covers some or all of the face. A fave of 40′s starlets, birdcage veils often have a flower or feather detailed comb or are attached to a hat. Wear it with: a slinky bias cut gown or skirt suit that recalls old Hollywood glam.
4. FLYAWAY
Short and sweet, this multilayered veil brushes the shoulders. Wear it with: any dress that’s flirty, fun, and a little 50′s – think a fitted off-the-shoulder bodice and ballerina pouf skirt.
5. MANTILLA
Say “si” to this Spanish style made from ornate lace. It can be short or long. Wear it with: a minimally embellished A-line gown that won’t compete with the veil’s elaborate design.
6. WATERFALL
Rippling edges are the distinctive detail on this veil, which is short in front and gets longer as it spills down your back. Wear it with: a structured strapless style, which will be softened by the fluid folds of the veil.
Ways to Monogram
Love that monogram look, but not quite sure which letters go where? There’s actually quite a few choices – we’ve listed the most common below. But whichever you choose, don’t use your new monogram until after the wedding ceremony!
For this example, let’s say the bride and groom’s names are Nancy Brown and Paul Jones.
Classic: NJP {the groom’s last name in the center, with the bride and groom’s first initials on each side}
Clean and Simple: J {the single letter stands for the new family’s last name}
Modern: N+P or N&P {just the initials of the two first names}
Bride Keeping Her Maiden Name: B J {bride’s maiden name and groom’s last name initials separated by a dot, diamond, or other design}
Even the boutonniere stems from an old tradition
When we think about wedding traditions, things like the bouquet toss come to mind. But even the wearing of a boutonniere by the groom comes from a practical reason of long ago. The wearing of a boutonniere by the groom originates in medieval times when a knight wore his lady’s colors (through flowers) as a statement of his love. Flowers and bouquets have long been used in weddings. In addition to adorning the bride with flowers to promote good luck and good health, flower meanings allowed the bride to express her feelings for the groom. Orange blossoms signify purity, daisies loyalty, violets modesty and red roses signify true love. Today, however, most brides choose their flowers simply by the look they prefer.
Receiving Line Etiquette
Having a receiving line is a matter of choice – it’s not required, but it is an effective way to greet and thank all of your guests, especially if your wedding is large and you may not have the chance to speak with everyone personally at the reception. You can have the receiving line immediately after the ceremony (before taking photos), or upon your arrival at the reception. Here’s a receiving line FAQ from Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette book.
When is it best NOT to have a receiving line?
If the combination of picture taking and receiving line means guests could be left hanging for an hour or more, do without it. Just be sure you greet each guest at some point during the reception. Also have the MC introduce the bridal party and the bride and groom’s parents so guests will know who’s who.
Where should the receiving line be?
Decide ahead of time where you want the receiving line to be. Your clergyperson or venue manager can suggest a good location. The ideal location is one that permits guests to have a refreshment while they are waiting their turn, or one that flows into the reception area. To accommodate guest that eat or drink while waiting in line, set a small table near the beginning of the line for used glasses, napkins, etc. No food or beverage should be carried through the line.
Who stands in the receiving line and where?
The traditional line includes the couple, their parents, the maid of honor, and possibly the bridesmaids. The basic order of the line is:
- The wedding hosts (traditionally the bride’s parents, mother first)
- The groom’s mother and father
- The bride and groom
- The maid or matron of honor
- The bridesmaids (optional)
In a military wedding it is protocol for a groom in uniform to stand before his bride. If there is a large number of bridesmaids, they might take turns in line a few at a time. If the wedding party is small the best man and groom’s attendants can be included. Sometimes the children of the couple participate if they are old enough to stand still and greet people. Users, flower girls and ring bearers are not included, nor are siblings who are not members of the wedding party.
Where do divorced parents stand?
Divorced parents do not stand in the line together. The parent and stepparent who are hosting the reception or are closest to the bride and groom usually stand in the line; but situations vary so much that you have to work out an arrangement that is the most sensible for your family.
When divorced parents are friendly, it is perfectly acceptable for the bride’s mother to have first place in line regardless of whether she pays the bills. Another alternative is to go with the tradition of the reception host standing first in line; but if there is serious discord between parents and stepparents, it may be best to forgo the formal receiving line altogether.
To avoid a very long line, different sets of parents might take turns standing in line, or the fathers may circulate among the guests instead of standing in line; but the full lineup of all divorced and remarried parents would look like this:
- Bride’s mother and stepfather
- Groom’s mother and stepfather
- Bride’s stepmother and father
- Groom’s stepmother and father
- Bride and groom
- Maid or matron of honor (set the bridesmaids free – the line is long enough!)
How should guests pass through the line?
As quickly as possible, pausing only long enough to be greeted by the host and hostess, wish the bride happiness, and congratulate the groom. Close friends and family often accompany their congratulations with a kiss. Otherwise, each person extends a hand to the person in line, who turns to introduce him or her to the next person in line before greeting the next guest. This eliminates the need for guests to have to introduce themselves repeatedly, and makes the process more personal.
Wedding Traditions: The Bouquet Toss
The tradition of the bride tossing her bouquet started the same way as many other wedding traditions… superstitions from “the old days” (think medieval times). Back then, it was considered “lucky” to touch the bride, and even luckier if you could get a piece of her dress, her veil, her hair, her flowers – anything that she had on her. The tradition of the bridal bouquet being tossed away was to draw the women away from the bride as they scrambled for the bouquet so that she could get away with her new husband and not be mobbed by the crowd.
The Tradition of the Bridal Party
Think that the purpose of having bridesmaids and groomsmen is so that you have someone to hold the bouquet and ring? Or someone to party with before the big day? Those in the bridal party certainly can have a lot of different job descriptions, but did you know that their original purpose was to save the bride and groom from evil spirits?
The tradition of having bridesmaids and groomsmen originated from the Roman law that demanded that ten witnesses be present at a wedding. By having ten witnesses, it was thought that they would be able to dupe evil spirits who were believed to attend marriages with the purpose of causing mischief and disharmony. Unlike today, originally, the bridesmaids and groomsmen all dressed in identical clothing to the bride and groom. This was so the evil spirits wouldn’t know who was getting married. Even as late as 19th century England, the belief that ill-wishers could administer curses and taint the wedding still existed. In Victorian wedding photographs, for example, it can take quite a bit of inspection to pick out the bride and groom from among the other members of the bridal party!
Email Invitation Etiqette
Well if Chelsea Clinton is sending her wedding announcement via email, then I guess it must be considered acceptable etiquette! Here is the scoop on Chelsea’s now famous email and some Email Invitation Etiquette Suggestions.
Photo: Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images
As reported on CelebrityWeddingBuzz.com:
Former first-daughter Chelsea Clinton is engaged. Her longtime love Marc Mezvinsky is the lucky guy – he popped the question on Thanksgiving Day in New York. The happy couple sent out an e-mail Friday announcing their big news to family and friends, reports People.com. It read: “We’re sorry for the mass email but we wanted to wish everyone a belated Happy Thanksgiving! We also wanted to share that we are engaged! We didn’t get married this past summer despite the stories to the contrary, but we are looking toward next summer and hope you all will be there to celebrate with us. Happy Holidays! Chelsea & Marc.”
Do’s and Don’ts for Email Invitations
From the Shelves of Engaged Wedding Library, Emily Post’s Wedding Parties
Do…
- Try to give about two weeks’ notice.
- BCC everyone on your email list (meaning the recipients don’t see the email addresses of anyone on the list).
- Re-read the message and use spell check before you hit Send.
- Be sure to include all the information that you would include in a printed invitation.
- Follow up with a reminder a day or two before the event.
- If using a service like Evite, fill in all the details the site asks for and remember to include a personal message.
- Make sure the email addresses you use are correct and that all your invited guests check their email regularly.
- Be prepared to follow up by phone if you don’t receive a prompt response – your message may have been caught in a spam filter or the recipient may not have opened it.
Don’t…
- Use email or Evite for invitations to the wedding ceremony and reception
- Send e-invitations to people who are internet-challenged
The most pervasive of traditions – where did that “something old, something new” come from?
This most well known phrase comes from an old English poem:
Something old, something new
Something borrowed, something blue
And a silver sixpence in her shoe
A sixpence is a coin that was minted in Britain from 1551 to 1967. It was made of silver and worth six pennies. So this wedding tradition is definitely English, and many sources say that it began in the Victorian era.
Each item in this poem represents a good-luck token for the bride. The custom is that if she carries all of them on her wedding day, her marriage will be happy.
Something old symbolizes continuity with the bride’s family and the past.
Something new means optimism and hope for the bride’s new life ahead.
Something borrowed is usually an item from a happily married friend or family member, whose good fortune in marriage is supposed to carry over to the new bride. The borrowed item also reminds the bride that she can depend on her friends and family.
Something blue has been connected to weddings for centuries. In ancient Rome, brides wore blue to symbolize love, modesty, and fidelity. Christianity has long dressed the Virgin Mary in blue, so purity was associated with the color. Before the late 19th century, blue was a popular color for wedding gowns, as evidenced in proverbs like, “Marry in blue, lover be true.”
And finally, a silver sixpence in the bride’s shoe represents wealth and financial security. It may date back to a Scottish custom of a groom putting a silver coin under his foot for good luck. For optimum fortune, the sixpence should be in the left shoe. These days, a dime or a copper penny is sometimes substituted, and many companies sell keepsake sixpences for weddings.